My Spouse Left the State With My Child. What Can I Do?

When parents divorce, they may agree to custody arrangements where one parent moves out of state with a child or children. However, if your spouse leaves the state with your child without your consent, immediately contact your divorce or child custody attorney.

While Americans can relocate from state to state without government approval, parents generally need permission to relocate with a child or children. They must adhere to child custody laws and strictly regard court-issued custody agreements.

If your spouse left the state with your child, contact an attorney to determine your legal options to get them back.

Types of Court-Ordered Custody

Different custody arrangements have different stipulations to which both parties must adhere.

Court-ordered custody arrangements include:

  • Legal Custody: A parent with legal custody can make significant decisions regarding their child, including their education, health, discipline, religious upbringing, and other welfare matters. 
  • Physical Custody: Physical custody involves making daily decisions for the child and is where the child resides. Some states call physical custody parenting time or time-sharing.
  • Sole Custody: Sole custody determines that only one parent has legal and physical custody of the child or children. This means the parent makes child-rearing decisions without the other parent’s consent. However, generally, the parent cannot move out of state without your consent or court approval.
  • Joint Legal Custody: Joint legal custody involves parents working together and sharing the control and care of raising the child or children, regardless of whether the child resides with one parent or alternates between residences. Parents have an equal voice and say.
  • Split Custody: Split custody involves two or more children. One parent has sole custody of one child while the other has sole custody of the other or remaining children. The courts generally do not favor split custody. However, some circumstances, such as the children’s ages and wishes, create the need.
  • Temporary Custody: Also known as pendente lite (pending litigation), temporary custody is court-ordered custody awarded temporary placement based on the best interests of the child standard. It isn’t the initial award of custody but temporary custody while waiting for the court to hold your hearing.  
  • Emergency Custody: If an urgent situation arises where the court believes a child is in danger of neglect, harm, or abuse, it grants emergency temporary custody to one parent or a trusted third party.


When a parent attempts to or succeeds in moving a child out of state without consent or approved notice of relocation, it may warrant consequences.

It demonstrates to the court that a parent may choose their personal interests above the best interest of their children. It also shows a willingness to uproot the child from their other parent, disregarding the child’s and the other parent’s ability to maintain a healthy, loving relationship.

What to Do if You Know Your Spouse Is Leaving the State With Your Child

If you suspect or know that your spouse plans to leave the state immediately, your attorney may file a complaint for custody with the court. They may also file an emergency motion, allowing your case to be heard before a judge within a day.

If your lawyer can demonstrate that your ex will take your child out of state, and harm your child, the court may issue an order prohibiting your spouse from leaving the state with your child.

What to Do if Your Spouse Left the State With Your Child

A child custody or family law attorney can file a writ of habeas corpus, requiring the parent who has strayed from the terms of a court order to appear before the court and justify why they’re withholding the child from you. The court issues a writ when one parent believes the other is wrongfully holding their child or children.

What Happens if You Do Nothing?

You must act immediately after your spouse leaves the state with your child. Failure to act immediately gives an impression the move hasn’t bothered you or you consented to it.

If you wait a few months to voice concern about your child’s well-being, the court may dismiss the claim because you would have acted sooner if you had a legitimate concern.

How a Child Custody Attorney Can Help

If your spouse left the state with your child without your permission, a child custody lawyer can assess the situation and advise you on your legal options. They will also file all legal documents, gather evidence, contact authorities, negotiate with the other parent, and represent you in court.

A custody lawyer can:

  • Assess Your Case: An attorney will review your existing custody agreement, the specifics of your case, and state law and regulation before determining the best course of action.
  • Immediate Action: If your spouse left the state with your child, a custody lawyer can take immediate action by filing an emergency petition to request the court order your child’s return immediately. It may include a writ of habeas corpus.
  • Gather Evidence: Your attorney will work with you to gather evidence documenting that the move was not in the best interest of your child, such as school records, witness statements, and communications between you and your spouse.
  • Contact Authorities: When circumstances warrant the need, your custody lawyer may work with law enforcement and child protective service agencies to locate your child.
  • Negotiate With the Other Parent: When possible, attorneys may negotiate with your spouse to get your child home quickly and set future custody agreements.
  • Court Representation: If negotiations fail, your lawyer can present your child custody case in court, advocating for your parental rights—seeking a custody arrangement in your child’s best interest. 


A Child Custody Attorney is Standing By 

If your spouse or ex left the state with your child or plans to do so without your permission, consult a family law attorney immediately. Remember, you must act swiftly to ensure the court takes your claim seriously. Schedule a case evaluation to discuss your legal recourse to bring your child home.

Child Custody Lawyer, Christopher M. Rolle
Child Custody Lawyer,
Christopher M. Rolle